Until someone breaks the chain, attachment problems are handed down through the generations. An insecurely attached adult, as a parent, may be unable to form the necessary strong attachment to his, or her, children, leaving the child without the resources for healthy emotional development, predisposing the child to a life of similar difficulties. A child's first relationship is generally with his parents, and when these relationships are safe and loving, the child learns to connect to others in a healthy way. However, when a child's relationship with his parents are hurtful, neglectful, or absent, the child doesn't form the capacity to form healthy relationships of his own.
Adults with attachment issues may be clinging, co-dependent, and needy, or they may exert a level of anger and hostility that prevents others from getting close, while others might live their lives superficially, unable to access their true emotions, in each case relying upon patterns that may have helped them survive as children, but leaving them isolated as adults.
On the positive side, there is treatment available for adults with attachment disorder. Depending upon the genetic personality traits of the individual, and their early life experiences, an insecurely attached adult will fall into one of two categories (Avoidant & Anxious/Ambivalent):
Avoidant
Intense anger and loss
Hostile
Overly critical of others
Sensitive to blame
Lack of empathy
Views others as untrustworthy or undependable
Views self as unlovable, or too good for others
Relationships feel either threatening to one's sense of control, not worth the effort, or both
Compulsive self-reliance
Passive withdrawal
Low levels of perceived support
Difficulty getting along with co-workers, often preferring to work alone
Work may provide a good excuse to avoid personal relations
Fear of closeness in relationships
Avoidance of intimacy
Unlikely to idealize the love relationship
Tendency toward self criticism
Anxious/Ambivalent
Learn more at: http://www.mycounselingsolutions.com/Counseling_Resources.htmlCompulsive caregiving
Feel overinvolved and underappreciated
No longterm relationships
Idealizing of others
Strong desire for partner to reciprocate in relationship
Desire for extensive contact and declarations of affections
Overinvests his/her emotions in a relationship
Perceives relationships as imbalanced
Preoccupation or dependence on relationship
Views partner as desirable but unpredictable (sometimes available, sometimes not)
Perceives others as difficult to understand
Relationship is primary method by which one can experience a sense of security
Unlikely to view others as altruistic
Sensitive to rejection
Discomfort with anger
Extreme emotions
Jealous
Possessive
Views self as unlovable
Suicide attempts
Mood swings
Tendency toward dependent depression
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